What kind of poker player would these celebrities be? Matching celebrities to play styles

Is Tom Brady an Unstoppable Force at the Poker Table too? Is Kim Kardashian a Shark? Here’s Ignition’s Take on these Celebrities’ Poker Style

What are the different poker player types?

At the poker table, everyone has a style. Over the years, these have been broken down into a few categories that you’ll need to be able to recognize if you want to stack up chips on the virtual felt. They are based on two different dimensions: loose v. tight and aggressive v. passive.

Loose v. Tight

In poker, a loose player is one who plays a lot of hands. These online poker players are not very selective about what two cards they start a hand with. After all, any cards can make a big hand, if you’re lucky. Right? Well, sure. But you don’t want to play every two cards, in general. It costs you a lot more in the long run because the hands you’re making are getting beat by premium hands.

In contrast, a tight player is more selective. They only play good cards preflop that have a solid chance of taking down a pot. They may be familiar with starting hand standards charts. They’re folding that 48o (a 4 and an 8 offsuit), and they’re looking for KQs. Knowing the difference between good starting cards and bad is often one of the first lessons poker players learn at the start of their journey to learn poker strategy.

Aggressive v. Passive

When an online player is aggressive, they’re betting and raising often and in larger amounts than other players. You hate being in a hand with them because they’re generally not checking it down in position. And when they have the goods, they make people pay. Their bluffs are harder to call, too. They make the game hard, in general.

Passive players, on the other hand, are calling stations. They don’t like to bet or raise much, but often let others drive the action. They may hang around, however, and might be hard to get out of a pot. They don’t want to take decisive action and will be checking quite a bit.

The Four Poker Play styles

Putting these qualities together, we get four online poker play styles:

1. Tight-aggressive. This is a strong style. These players are choosy about the hands they play, and often get their money in when they’ve got something. They also can make position plays and bluffs that work out more often than other players. This is a common strategy that works quite well and is hard to exploit.
2. Loose-aggressive. These players are dangerous, but for different reasons. They could be playing any two cards, but love to drive the action. They’re betting with draws and bottom pairs, but also top pairs. You don’t know what they have, and sometimes have to hang on for dear life. But if you’ve got the goods, they will probably pay you off big time. They’ll be in nearly every hand at the table.
3. Tight-passive. These players know how to pick a decent starting hand, but then don’t always know how to get paid. When they’re betting, they have something like the nuts, or close to it. Everyone folds when they finally wake up with a hand. Don’t be surprised if they call you down and have you beat. Just because they’re not betting or raising doesn’t mean they don’t have quality cards. Mostly, they’re missing opportunities for profit, though.
4. Loose-passive. These players will play any two cards, but won’t drive much action either. If there’s a hand to hit, they’ll hit it. They’re seeing most flops. But they won’t put you through hard decisions. Put them on a wide range of cards, and try to break them with pressure.

Matching Celebrities to Styles

So, based on personality, which styles are today’s most famous names playing? Well, here’s our best guess. These players could drop a million in Bitcoin at Ignition and not bat an eye.

Donald Trump

Trump has to be a loose aggressive player. He wants to be in every hand, bullying his way to a showdown. Betting, raising, and all-ins are guaranteed. If he loses, he will spend a ridiculous amount of time verbally abusing everyone and arguing that the game was rigged. No matter what comes out of his mouth players and spectators will want to watch the show.

Beyonce

Bey is probably tight aggressive. She’s been making the right moves for years and years, and she clearly has outstanding discipline. You don’t get to be Queen B without knowing how to push at the right opportunities and avoid the wrong ones. She would probably have a grip on making solid cards pay and throwing the trash away where it belongs.

B has high standards, right?

Kim Kardashian

For the fab miss Kim K, we’re thinking loose passive. She doesn’t have to worry about a dollar and doesn’t have to care about her cards. She’s also guaranteed to be doing 45 things at once and will be way too busy to focus on a hand and drive the action. How long does it take to set up a photo shoot for social media to post a gorge pic of yourself playing poker? She’ll be distracted for at least that long.

Tom Brady

There’s no other way we could see TB12 playing than tight aggressive. He knows what cards to play and knows how to get maximum value out of them. He’s well-researched, he’s calculating, and he will punish literally every mistake you make. The dude is ruthless and has an incomparable will to win. And with his impeccable discipline, he won’t even be getting tipsy at the table. After he knocks you out of the online poker tournament, he will celebrate with avocado ice cream.

Leonardo DiCaprio

Leo is probably tight passive. The dude has great taste. He’s known for only going for the best. But with a bevy of supermodels hanging off his arm, how could he possibly focus on the game? No matter how the hand goes, he’s going to be fending off attention throughout the whole thing. With top-notch acting skills, you’d never know how to read him, though.

King Charles lll

The new King of England might be another tight and aggressive player. He knows quality when he sees it. He might only feel comfortable playing face cards, given his royal bearing. And if it’s time to slam on the gas, he’s probably got the DNA to take an opportunity that presents itself. But what if a lifetime of patience has made him passive at the tables? We can only wonder.

Mark Zuckerberg

Zuckbot will play mathematically optimal poker. An unexploitable style, we’d imagine. The perfect mix of all four styles. But he’ll be playing completely alone in the Metaverse until someone else shows up to play with him, sadly.

What about you? What type of Poker player do you consider yourself to be?